Not quite 'the thing'

Words and pictures. Sometimes in the right order.

104,022 notes

amuseoffyre: husklaughingalonewithkanaya: j9tigger: lolsofunny: Let’s not beat around the bush here… OR SHALL WE?! Why the fuck is she cuddling with Tampax at what appears to be a pool that is also the ocean? I want a tampon commercial where the women are fighting zombies or some shit. And they’re all beat up and bloody and shoving tampons into bullet wounds to stop the bleeding. And I want one of the ladies to full-on decapitate a zombie with a machete or maybe a scythe. And then I want her to look directly into the camera with blood running from an open wound on her forehead and say, “For the fighting spirit.” ^ That commercial would win all of the Oscars. That commercial would make more sense that all this faffing about through the fields of daisies and cuddling your fucking tampons bullshit… What are you talking about? I sit by the pool/ocean cuddle my tampons all the fucking time. Who wants to start a tampon company with me just so we can make that commercial? What would it be called, Tampocalypse? I’d be game if it were called Tampocalypse. reblogging for the priceless notes The Tampocalypse FOR THE FIGHTING SPIRIT. Well periods aren’t all ‘Let me parade around in my motherfucking white bikini at the beach and shake my ass around in front of the hot boys while snuggling my tampon box” IT’S LITERALLY A BLOOD BATH!! IT’S A WAR! IF YOU GET IN MY WAY, FUCKER I WILL KNOCK YOU THE FUCK OUT! Tampocalypse. I love the internet.  I would buy the shit outta that. This made me laugh my ass off this morning - I love this! I would buy the shit outta this. I really want to see that commercial. And chainsaws are a must. I do wonder about women in the adverts generally. Do any real women wear that much white while bleeding profusely? Also, stumbled across a brand called Femtex. It made me think explosive thoughts, which would be a whole other kind of advert. And, in conclusion: Have a happy period, mofo.

amuseoffyre:

husklaughingalonewithkanaya:

j9tigger:

lolsofunny:

Let’s not beat around the bush here…

OR SHALL WE?!

Why the fuck is she cuddling with Tampax at what appears to be a pool that is also the ocean?

I want a tampon commercial where the women are fighting zombies or some shit.

And they’re all beat up and bloody and shoving tampons into bullet wounds to stop the bleeding.

And I want one of the ladies to full-on decapitate a zombie with a machete or maybe a scythe.

And then I want her to look directly into the camera with blood running from an open wound on her forehead and say,

“For the fighting spirit.”

^ That commercial would win all of the Oscars.

That commercial would make more sense that all this faffing about through the fields of daisies and cuddling your fucking tampons bullshit…

What are you talking about?

I sit by the pool/ocean cuddle my tampons all the fucking time.

Who wants to start a tampon company with me just so we can make that commercial?

What would it be called, Tampocalypse? I’d be game if it were called Tampocalypse.

reblogging for the priceless notes

The Tampocalypse

FOR THE FIGHTING SPIRIT.

Well periods aren’t all ‘Let me parade around in my motherfucking white bikini at the beach and shake my ass around in front of the hot boys while snuggling my tampon box”

IT’S LITERALLY A BLOOD BATH!!

IT’S A WAR!

IF YOU GET IN MY WAY, FUCKER I WILL KNOCK YOU THE FUCK OUT!

Tampocalypse.

I love the internet. 

I would buy the shit outta that.


This made me laugh my ass off this morning - I love this! I would buy the shit outta this.

I really want to see that commercial. And chainsaws are a must.

I do wonder about women in the adverts generally. Do any real women wear that much white while bleeding profusely?

Also, stumbled across a brand called Femtex. It made me think explosive thoughts, which would be a whole other kind of advert.

And, in conclusion: Have a happy period, mofo.

(Source: moodgelet, via oldandnewfirm)

1 note

A day at the beach with my Beloved Monster’s simple sense of humour

I persuaded my husband Stevin (known affectionately as my Beloved Monster) to forgo the convenience of a pub lunch today in favour of a picnic on the beach. 

With a bag full of bread, cheese, meat, fruit and cake, I dragged him to the Holywell end of Eastbourne beach, and within five minutes of sitting down he turned to me and said: “You were so right. Good call my darling.”

Eastbourne has a pebble beach, and up by the Holywell end there is plenty of chalk on the ground that has crumbled from the cliff face. As we sat and ate, I left Stevin a little message:

My Beloved Monster responded by carving a cock out of the end of the baguette.

So I tried again:

And then he found a stone in the shape of a cock and balls:

So I gave up and made a mermaid instead:

And just when I’d given up on him recipricating with any kind of romantic gesture, he gave me this:

So all it took was perseverance! And honestly? I had a good laugh at both the bread cock and the rock cock, because as silly as Stevin’s sense of humour is, it’s one of the things that made me fall in love with him in the first place. We have a pact, that we will grow old together but never grow up!

Filed under Love My Monster Beach Mermaid Silly SOH rude shapes